Rejection is a word that stings, especially when tied to our dreams. Whether it’s being denied admission to your dream college, or missing out on a sought-after program, academic rejection can feel like watching your hopes crumble before your very eyes. But it doesn’t have to define your future. Here’s how to cope, regroup, and move forward with newfound resilience.
The first thing to remember is that rejection is not a measure of your worth. Decisions about admissions are influenced by a myriad of factors, some of which are beyond your control. It’s only natural to feel disappointed, frustrated, or even lost.
Johan Caceres, a 12th grader and the President of the NYC Museum School’s student government, recalled his experience: “This being my first rejection to a program of high caliber and prestige really upset me, but also made me anxious and insecure for the college process, since that rejection signaled incompetence and weakness at that moment.” Acknowledging these feelings is the first step to coping with them, so try not to brush them aside.
It’s okay to grieve, even if you think you’re being overdramatic. Try to take time to process your emotions without internal judgement—you have to learn to accept even the ones you deem unsightly. Cry, vent to a friend, or write your feelings down, do whatever helps you release the turmoil sowed by rejection.
If working through your emotions alone feels overwhelming, don’t hesitate to lean on others. Companionship can be one of the greatest pillars of strength in turbulent times. Share your feelings with trusted friends, family members, or mentors.
Sara Michelle Parades, another senior at Museum School, revealed how she coped. “I leaned on my mom and my friend Johan for support. They know how badly I wanted to get into this program… it was comforting to have people reassuring me that one rejection isn’t the end of the road.” These are the people who’ve been with you through your entire journey, and they’ll be happy to remind you that a single setback doesn’t define your story.
Your ability to continue isn’t defined by whether your endeavors have led to acceptance or refusal. While it may feel like a dead end, it’s often a detour leading to something new. Life rarely unfolds in a straight line, and the path you’re meant to take might look different than what you imagined. As long as you keep moving forward in the direction you want to, you will eventually meet the destination of your dreams. Senior Bo Buscarello shares a piece of advice, “The best thing to do is try and move on, and realize that wherever you end up will be the right place for you, whether it feels that way right now or not.”
But knowing this and putting it into action are two different things. How do you keep going when you don’t know where to go anymore? When you’ve been turned away from where you thought was the right place for you, how do you know if you’re taking the correct path?
Remember that life is full of opportunities. Even if you’re not entirely sure what to do, there are countless paths that can lead you to success. Start by reflecting on your interests and strengths. Are there other schools or programs that align with your goals? Could a gap year provide time to gain work experience, volunteer, or explore new passions?
Sometimes, rejection offers a chance to reassess and improve. Consider revisiting your application materials and identifying areas for growth. This might mean retaking standardized tests, gaining relevant experience, or refining your personal statement. Use this setback as motivation to come back stronger.
It is also important to cultivate a growth mindset. Instead of viewing rejection as a failure, see it as a stepping stone worth pursuing for your personal and academic growth. “Though it is ‘cheesy’ to be told that ‘rejection is redirection’… it is the best advice I could tell myself to deal with the competitiveness of the world we live in,” Caceres reflected. Every experience, even painful ones, has something to teach you. Resilience is built by facing challenges head-on and learning from them.
Finally, surround yourself with positivity and encouragement. Seek out stories of others who faced academic rejection and went on to achieve incredible success. Paredes recited a quote by journalist Rachel Scott that greatly shaped her perspective, “…if you stay focused on something that wasn’t meant to be your blessing, you are going to miss yours.” Let the fruitful journeys of those before you marred by initial failure serve as reminders that setbacks are not the end, and you have something to gain from moving forward.
Rejection is just a chapter in your life, not the entire story. It’s a momentary pause, not a permanent stop. As you move forward, trust in your ability to adapt, grow, and thrive.
“I learned that ultimately I have to be my biggest cheerleader, and realize that rejection only opens doors to opportunities that I will forever cherish,” said Caceres on the insights he’s gained.
When sharing a personal anecdote, Paredes mentions how, “If [she] hadn’t gotten rejected from this pre-college program, [she] wouldn’t have been able to do my first medical internship.”
The path ahead may not be the one you anticipated, but each step brims with possibility. Keep going, because any dreams you may have are still within reach—they may just be waiting for you on another road.
