Edward Campanelli and Ms. D weigh in on Pizza options in the neighborhood

Stella’s

Edward: Not much variety when it comes to kinds of slices, the plain and margherita are really the only way to go. Plain is just that, and the margherita is too heavy on the sauce and doesn’t balance well with the cheese. One theme that runs through both slices is a weak and soggy crust that adds nothing but the taste of stale oil. 3 out of 10. 

Ms. DeStefano: Was expecting very little from Stella’s.  The last time I was there (in 2017!) my slice of Sicilian was very burnt – inexcusable.  But fast forward to 2022 and you could definitely do worse than their regular slice.  It’s a sturdy slice – maybe too sturdy, with a not very flavorful crust, tangy sauce and the usual cheese.  The first three bites tasted great (because I was starving).  After that, the best I can say is “satisfying.”  6 out of 10.

Jet’s 

Edward: Due to Jet’s boring exterior, I never noticed it next to Stella’s. After trying Jet’s classic 4-corner Detroit pie, the phrase, “never judge a book by its cover” was heavily reinforced within me. While the sauce needs some balancing (too sweet and acidic), the cheese was gooey, melted, and very soft. The crust was crispy and yet fluffy and soft on the inside. The pepperoni wasn’t the most flavorful, but it added a nice texture with a bit of spice to the overall slice. 7 out of 10.

Ms. D: I pass Jet’s every day on my walk to work and its slogan, “Better, because it has to be” always annoys me.  (Why does it have to be?  Who says it has to be?).  At least there is an actual guy named Jett (the founder), which solves the mystery of Jet’s comma placement (although why not spell it with two T’s?).  All that aside, Jet’s is Detroit-style pizza by way of Sterling Heights, MI.  So, the real deal, right here on 9th Avenue.  Unfortunately, if the 4-Corner Detroit  pepperoni pie is any indication, Jet’s should go back to Michigan and take its dumb slogan with them.  This pizza tastes like chain pizza, with an airy, crunchy crust, that, sadly, lacks any flavor, pepperoni that lacks bite, decent cheese, but an offensive sauce that is somehow too sweet and too acidic at the same time.  I will save you $15 (and remind you that the ONLY pizza worth eating in this neighborhood is Rocco’s Grandma slice – see below).  5 out of 10.

Pizza Italia

Edward: Nothing else here holds a candle to the buffalo chicken slice. Great amount of spice, tender chicken, and good balance of cheese to cut through it. Despite this, the actual slice often buckles under the weight, suggesting a weak crust. 6 out of 10.

Ms. DeStefano: This pizza was dominated by cheese, and not the best quality cheese either, to the point where it could induce lactose intolerance.  Along with all that cheese comes grease, and the little bit of  sweet-ish sauce doesn’t do much to cut the richness. Thick, flavorless crust makes this slice a gut-buster.  The best I can say is “filling.”  Add a point of if you are a broke and starving adolescent.  5 out of 10

Rocco’s

Edward: The plain slice is quality, with a good ratio of cheese to sauce to crust. The sauce isn’t super flavorful and the cheese is kind of just there for texture, so it becomes pretty boring pretty fast. 5 out of 10.

Ms. DeStefano: Regular slice was very similar to the Italia slice, except slightly higher quality cheese and a little more sauce.  Don’t come to Rocco’s for a regular slice, though.  Come for a Grandma slice, and make sure you get a corner piece!  Crispy, garlicky, cheesy and greasy in the best possible way!  Reminds me of all the Grandma slices I grew up eating on Long Island. 10 out of 10 (for Grandma).

J’s Pizza

Edward: Not only does J’s have a great variety of slices, from vegetable to margherita, to buffalo chicken to pasta, but each slice is maintained by a great crust. The pasta slice is the best on the menu, with a massive amount of delicious pieces of penne, supported by a great vodka sauce and some tangy cheese. That’s my personal favorite, but every slice is worth the two block walk. 9 out of 10. 

Ms. D:  Worth the two block walk?  I don’t think so!  Friendly man behind the counter, but I had already waited 10 minutes for my slice and pepperoni roll to heat up, and then he dropped the pepperoni roll and I had to wait another 10 minutes.  Between that debacle and my walk back to school, I had about 37 seconds to devour my pizza.  This was just your very basic NYC slice, with good sauce to cheese ratio but slightly stale crust.  Pepperoni roll was not worth the calories, with not very flavorful pepperoni and that same stale crust.  Contemplating a walk to 7th Ave? Fuggedaboutit! 4 out of 10.

Tune in next year when Edward and Ms. D rate Bacon Egg and Cheese sandwiches in the neighborhood!